There are many people who have lost their faith after witnessing the bad behavior of religious leaders. David Wolpe describes the opposite experience: he lost his youthful unbelief upon learning more about his intellectual hero, the English philosopher and logician Betrand Russell.
Upon reading his autobiography, I realized that this paragon of logic had lived a supremely messy life: multiple marriages, affairs, estranged children—all the wreckage of someone who is personally unwise. And I met people of deep religious faith who were as strong, as deep, and as thoughtful as any others I had known. The older I got, the larger the puzzle of life well-lived. It was clear to me I was missing some pieces.
By contrast, there are others who report losing faith after experiencing tragedy. Wolpe examines why that might be so, since
tragedy gives them no new information. Did anyone not know before they got cancer that human beings get cancer? Or before a loved one dies that people die? Our deepest connection to this world is not reason but relation. People who, in tragedy, lose their faith do so not because they learn something new about God but because their relationship with God changes from experiencing God’s world in a new and painful way.
This year with my students, we studied the thought of the Eish Kodesh, the remarkable rabbi of the Warsaw ghetto, Kalman Shapira. The Eish Kodesh suffered terribly in his lifetime and while not entirely absolving God for his suffering, he wrote that the destruction of the rational mind by extreme suffering left open a channel by which one could reach directly to God.